Happy though married

Last month, David and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. We were on holidays in beautiful Apollo Bay and I happened to be sitting with a cuppa reading the newspaper. I read an interview with Leslie Mann, actress and main character in the movie, This is 40.  She was saying that she was sick of seeing movie marriages portraying happy couples; holding hands, kissing, with great sex lives etc etc. She complained that no one has a marriage like that. So she and her husband (who is the also the director) decided to make a movie that tells it like it really is. (Incidently, this movie is very entertaining, if you can get past all the swearing.)

This article made me just a tad cross! "Why are you expected to be unhappy if you are married?" I demanded of David (who was busy reading his own book at the time and had no idea where this question had come from). Why would you be content with an unhappy marriage, especially if you are planning to do the "til death we part" bit. So on Valentine's Day, here are my top 10 tips (in no particular order) for a HAPPY marriage.

DISCLAIMER: We don't have a perfect marriage or relationship! But we are happy together.

1. Hold hands.

2. Be affectionate.

3. Don't EVER wear flannel pyjamas (unless you are on a girls weekend) ... that's all I will say about that - my mum reads this blog!

4. Don't keep score. No marriage is 50 / 50. Put in 100%.

5. Communicate. Don't do the silent thing. I am a yeller! I get it off my chest and then I can start over. (Please note: I am not actually recommending this. I am sure there are healthier ways to communicate ...) Just keep communicating.

6. Do stuff together.

7. Do stuff by yourself.

8. Reminisce. Relive the fun times you have had together.

9. Say sorry. David is much better at this than me .... (I won't say anything about him having had more practice!) Seriously though, I find this hard but do it anyway!! We have the same rules as we have for our girls: be specific, use the person's name and say what you are sorry for. And no excuses get to be included with an apology.

10. Keep working at it. Some years seem to be much harder than others. No person is perfect nor is any relationship.

Oh, and on a side note, the girls have loved waking up to new hearts on their bedroom doors each day (and David too). This new tradition is definitely a keeper. Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy New Year

2013... wow! When did that happen? It seems like we just blink and another year passes by. 2012 was a VERY busy year for me and sadly I had to put my blog to the side for the second part of the year but in 2013 I am back! I have so many things to share with you and I am so excited to be writing again. I will continue to post on a range of topics including organising projects, crafts, fun stuff the girls and I do together, favourite recipes and lots more. If there are particular things you would like me to write about, feel free to drop me a line. I would love to hear from you.

And so we have a new year; full of opportunities, goals, new things to try, things to achieve. I always spend a good part of our summer holiday thinking about what I want the coming year to be like. I reflect on the past year and try to work out what it is I will do for this year to make it better. I am a highly visual person. I find it really helps me to be able to see my goals regularly to remind me of what it is I am trying to achieve. So this year I have a new way to display them around the house and in key locations.

Some of the biggies on my list this year revolve around limiting technologies and being present with my family. I have a tendency to be easily distracted by my laptop ... Facebook, Pinterest, email. These are all amazing tools but they can also be huge time wasters if you let them. 5 minutes on Pinterest  is the equivalent to 1 hour in real time! I have had a serious think about my priorites for this year and at the top of my list is my family. They shouldn't get the left overs of my time, they should get my prime hours. So accordingly, I have decided to try to limit my computer time to a short block during the school day and then in the evening after the girls are in bed. My focus when they are here after school will be on them. We all know how quickly they grow and this time will be gone before I know it. I want to cherish every minute. Afterall, this is exactly what I always wanted; I don't want to waste one moment.

Having everyone leave the house in the mornings nourished of mind, body and spirit is another goal for this year. Too often last year we seemed to be rushing in the mornings and I yelled at one or more children before we had reached the school gates; to hurry up, to remember to pack a drink bottle, to grab their homework, to please NOT redo their hair for the seventh time that morning. This year, we will ALL be getting up earlier. No hitting 'snooze' on the alarm clock. Up and at 'em! School bags and activity bags packed the night before as much as possible so we can have calm mornings.

2013 will also see us all being more creative. I have a list of projects I would love to get stuck into this year. I also really want to teach my girls to cook and to sew; two things I really enjoy doing. So no doubt it will be another busy year but I am up for it. Bring it!

Growing Up

It’s been a REALLY long time since I had a chance to write on my blog and I have missed it. Thankyou to those of you who have told me you have missed it too … you have inspired me to write again.

2012 has been a ridiculously busy year so far and shows absolutely no sign of slowing any time soon (or possibly ever in the foreseeable future at the very least!). I guess that is to be expected with our family of six; certainly people expect you to be run-off-your-feet-busy when you have 4 children. But I suspect my difficulty in saying “no” to near any request is also a mitigating factor in the craziness that is my life. I tend to take on lots of projects, celebrations and the like and then find myself drowning in my to do list. This is not the only culprit though; I am easily distracted. And for heavens sake, don’t give me a book because I find it near impossible to put it down until I have read the very last line!

Since I last wrote, I celebrated my birthday. I am not going to tell you how old I was but I will tell you that I am still a few years off the big 4-0. I am however, experiencing a mid-life crisis of sorts. When did I get old exactly? I didn’t mind 30 at all, in fact, I felt rather grown up. 35 wasn’t too bad either but the other side of this number is not so great. Much better than the alternative, my Dad always reminds me, but I don’t want to get older. I certainly don’t really like the physical side of growing up. I could do without the wrinkles (even if you do call them “laugh lines”) and my figure is certainly not what it used to be. To wallow or to do something about it? That is the question really.

So, I have decided that there is nothing to stop me getting younger! (If only that were actually a possibility) But I can do something about how fit and toned I am; about the condition of my skin; about how good I feel about myself. You know all about my love (obsession perhaps?) of Pinterest. I have been busily pinning lots of great ideas for exercising, changing my diet and reading magazines like Prevention and Women’s Health. All the info you need to be your best is out there, you just need to go find it and then put it in to practice.

This morning, for the first time in …. well, let’s just agree that it has been a really long time …. I went for a run. (Just give my Mum a moment to pick herself up off the floor! Yes, I did really run Mum) And it felt good. Well, let me clarify that … it didn’t actually feel that good (and I am guessing that the man with his dog that I was sharing the local football oval with, thought I was about to keel over at any moment, based solely on my ragged breathing) but it felt good to be doing something. In fact, the hardest thing about exercising is dragging myself from my very warm, comfortable bed when everyone else in my household is snuggling. Once I actually step outside though, it is all worth it. I use this time to think, to pray, to plan my day. It is amazing how good it feels to have some clear head space. I highly recommend it.

My goal is not to look like a teenager or become a size 8 even. I would be happy to be mistaken for 30! But I do want to be the healthiest me I can be. And to fit into a gorgeous outfit I have in my wardrobe. (I will post pictures when I get there). Oh and I want a tattoo and a sports car. Well, what self-respecting  mid-life crisis is any good without a sports car I ask you?

 

 

Here’s to a healthier me!

Why I scrapbook

I have been scrapbooking for years. In fact, 13 years if you want me to be more precise. I love it; I really do. I started just after we got married and I have no intention of stopping. I love to look at the photos we have taken over the years, to remember the good times we have had together with family and friends and to read the stories I have written in our albums so they won't fade (as my memory surely will). I love to sit and create my album pages, be it traditional (cut and paste) or digital. It is a relaxing and creative outlet. But that is not why I scrapbook.

I scrapbook for these gorgeous girls of mine. I want them to remember the fun we have had while they were little. There will be many of the things we have done together that they were too little to remember but they will be able to see it in their albums. I want them to know how much they are loved. How much we enjoy their company. The things we notice about their personalities. The record of the funny things they have said. And it gives me no greater joy than to see them turning the pages of their albums and seeing all this for themselves.

When Megan (my firstborn) was just 14 months old, (and I was 28) I was diagnosed with a heart condition. I was 3 months pregnant with Alison at the time. After seeing a specialist cardiologist, I decided that rather than be on medication for the rest of my life, I would have heart surgery to try to eliminate the faulty circuits. This couldn't be done while I was pregnant, so we set the date for 10 weeks after Ali was born. While the surgery was fairly straight forward (for a cardiac surgeoun I guess) I still had to be made aware of all the potential risks and it was a long list. I am an optomist so I tried not to worry about it but the thought did cross my mind that if something was to happen to me, my toddler and my baby would grow up without their mum. Without knowing how precious they were to me. Without knowing all my dreams for them. So I spent every minute I could with them and when they were sleeping, I scrapbooked like a maniac to make sure their albums and their stories (especially of Ali's birth) were up to date.

My surgery was a success and 8 years later (and 2 more gorgeous girls), I still try to keep their albums up to date for the same reason. No one knows how much time they will have on this earth. If something happens to me, I want them to know they are truely loved. I want them to hear my voice in the stories that are written in their albums. Hear it in the Life Lessons pages I have made for them. To know what I thought about different things. It won't matter to them whether I was up to date with the latest season of Glee or Castle but I hope that these albums will be something they will treasure so it is where I spend my time. Life is short. Treasure every minute. xx

Multi-tasking: don't do it!

I used to be a huge fan of multi-tasking. You can get so much more done (apparently) and it is a much better use of your time. The only draw-back is this .... if you tend to get side-tracked, then at the end of the day, rather than a lot of tasks ticked off the to do list, you just have a rather large trail of destruction in your wake. I am definitely in this category!

As my blog title suggests, I lead a perpetually interrupted life. So despite my best intentions, I am inevitably drawn away from whatever task I was doing (often but not always by my children) and then having the very short working memory I have been "blessed" with, I forget all about the original task and am drawn to something else. So this year, I am making a renewed effort, NOT to multi-task but rather to start and more importantly, complete said tasks. I make a couple of exceptions; I can talk on the phone and do almost anything at the same time and I rarely watch TV without something else to sort through or do.

Every now and then, I revert to my old ways which is usually where everything goes horribly wrong. Take my Sunday evening for instance. Thinking I would get myself organised for the week ahead, I decided to whip up a batch of cookies for school lunch boxes. While I had these cooking, I was also preparing our evening meal, reading out spelling lists to at least one of my girls and listing several items to sell on a local Facebook group. Which is the primary reason I forgot to take the cookies out of the oven. Overcooked does not even begin to describe these offerings; they could be used as a weapon they are so hard. Bugger! It seems that I was on a roll because after popping down to the supermarket to get some milk I got sidetracked chatting to David when I got home and forgot all about the milk. All 6 litres of it left on the kitchen bench all night.

It pains me to say this but multi-tasking is just not for me. Better baby steps that I can complete in one session than a huge mess that becomes overwhelming. So back to my mantra "only one thing at a time". I might actually get something done this year.