Happy though married

Last month, David and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. We were on holidays in beautiful Apollo Bay and I happened to be sitting with a cuppa reading the newspaper. I read an interview with Leslie Mann, actress and main character in the movie, This is 40.  She was saying that she was sick of seeing movie marriages portraying happy couples; holding hands, kissing, with great sex lives etc etc. She complained that no one has a marriage like that. So she and her husband (who is the also the director) decided to make a movie that tells it like it really is. (Incidently, this movie is very entertaining, if you can get past all the swearing.)

This article made me just a tad cross! "Why are you expected to be unhappy if you are married?" I demanded of David (who was busy reading his own book at the time and had no idea where this question had come from). Why would you be content with an unhappy marriage, especially if you are planning to do the "til death we part" bit. So on Valentine's Day, here are my top 10 tips (in no particular order) for a HAPPY marriage.

DISCLAIMER: We don't have a perfect marriage or relationship! But we are happy together.

1. Hold hands.

2. Be affectionate.

3. Don't EVER wear flannel pyjamas (unless you are on a girls weekend) ... that's all I will say about that - my mum reads this blog!

4. Don't keep score. No marriage is 50 / 50. Put in 100%.

5. Communicate. Don't do the silent thing. I am a yeller! I get it off my chest and then I can start over. (Please note: I am not actually recommending this. I am sure there are healthier ways to communicate ...) Just keep communicating.

6. Do stuff together.

7. Do stuff by yourself.

8. Reminisce. Relive the fun times you have had together.

9. Say sorry. David is much better at this than me .... (I won't say anything about him having had more practice!) Seriously though, I find this hard but do it anyway!! We have the same rules as we have for our girls: be specific, use the person's name and say what you are sorry for. And no excuses get to be included with an apology.

10. Keep working at it. Some years seem to be much harder than others. No person is perfect nor is any relationship.

Oh, and on a side note, the girls have loved waking up to new hearts on their bedroom doors each day (and David too). This new tradition is definitely a keeper. Happy Valentine's Day.